I have been thinking about my Dad all day today, We dont speak to each other, his choice not mine. Pathetic reasons and even though there has been apologies (although I was never quite sure what exactly I was supposed to be apologising for) still no contact.
I saw him in May at a funeral, it was the first time he had met my Husband and my Daughter, he acknowledged them but didnt even say hello to me, just stared at me, shaking and looking petrified. That was not my Dad. He is stronger than that.
He looked ill. I'm actually really worried about him. I dont care that he isnt answering my texts or calls (ok well I do) I just care that he looked so "wrong" he didnt look healthy, he looked like a weak old man.
I sent him a message today telling him of my upcoming operation, I told him this ignoring had gone on long enough, and could he at least let me know if he wanted to hear from me, otherwise I wont bother in future. Ive sent him a message every Birthday, Xmas and Fathers Day for the past 4 years and not got a reply. I have his new number so it's not like he has changed it. Im just hurt that he doesnt even care enough about me to make sure that i'm ok about the Op,or even have the respect to send a message back to say "dont text me" at least then I wouldnt be in bloody limbo all the time.
When I last had this Operation I was ten, I had both my parents there for support, this time My Mum is dead, and My Dad doesnt care. It hurts. A lot.
Hey hun, thought i'd comment as i almost know what you are feeling. Me and my father don't seen or spoken in 8 years, was my decision but he never challanged it, i've never attempted to contact him since and he's never contacted me. I used to be hurt that he didn't love me enough to fight for me, he just lied about me to my family.
ReplyDeleteMy husband once said that you can't choose your family but i disagree, as adults we choose our family, you chose your husband, children (somewhat) your friends. From what i've read you are a lovely lady and don't deserve to be ignored but if he chooses not to care then remember that there are many that do and always will. Your mum will be there, watching over you and keeping you safe don't you worry.
take care xxxx
Thanks hun, it's their loss at the end of the day, they are missing out on their family and grandchildren. I find it infuriating but life goes on, and we have to make the most of what we are given and focus on the people who show they care rather than those who dont.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the lovely comment about my Mum, I hope she will be too xx