GAP

I am so super chuffed today, I bought a hoody from the womens section, an XL. Not XXL or XXXL, just the one X :)

Its Little things like this that make me want to keep going, that make me want to keep trying with the gym and with zumba at home and with the healthier eating.

Little achievements make the big goals seem more possible.

A Little faith in yourself goes a long way.
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Get In!

The 22 Jeans!!!!

(Ignore the boards on the floor, a floorboard just went under the carpet so they are there so we don't keep standing on it and go through to downstairs...)
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22!!

OMG!! I am SUPER Thrilled this morning, I've got back into size 22 jeans!!! I found a pair I'd kept in wardrobe in vague hope I might fit into again one day, so when I was doing a clear out last night and I thought "why not, I'll give them a go" put them on, buttoned them up AND breathed out! Ta Da!! That's 28 crossed off, 26 crossed off, 24 crossed off....I reckon it was that 5k Race that did it ;)

So to celebrate I'm wearing them for our trip up to the NEC. I won tickets for the BBC Good Food Show via a competition on the Facebook Masterchef page. I'm off to cooking school first then for a wander round the exhibition. I Love my cooking, I always try to cook from scratch as most jars and packet mixes have things in I can't have.

Last night I made Spicy Sausage, Spinach and Bean Hotpot from scratch and it was lovely even if I do say so myself. I felt really good eating it as I knew it was healthy and I'd made it myself.

I'm sure I will snack on bits and pieces today that I shouldn't do on the 3 hour drive there and back and also at the exhibition stands of the things I can eat.

I get to go to the Cooking School at with Dhruv Baker today, he was the winner of Masterchef UK in 2010. He amazes me with his cooking skills and use of spices.
I could never go on Masterchef, I'm too much of a "home" cook, I like my pasta bakes, stews, casseroles, currys and chilli's too much to start cooking quail eggs and quince!

Bit of a rambling post today, so apologies to those who gave up half way and congratulations to those who made it to the end :)
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Food Diary

So far today I have eaten -

Breakfast - Melon
Lunch - Beans on Toast
Dinner - Beef Mince Taco's with Dips

Drinks - decaf black coffee, caffeine free coke and a carlsberg.

Not really planning on any pudding but may have a scone later whilst watching Comedy Gala.

Not the best of days food and drink wise, need to have some water for the rest of evening no more fizzy or alcoholic drinks.
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Race For Life

Also forgot to mention it is my Race for Life event this weekend!
Bring on the 5k!!
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Gym Upgrade

So on Tuesday I went for my PT session and had my Program Upgraded, basically meaning it now hurts a lot more and i'm more out of breath!
I've added more weights training, some different cardio and some extra squats and stretches at the end. I need to get myself one of those big gym balls so I can practise some bits at home, last thing I want to do is fall flat on my arse in the gym in front of everyone.

I have also bought the Zumba game for the Wii, and have been doing 20 minute sessions everyday whilst baby is having a nap. I have just put her down for a nap and put my sweats on, but she doesnt seem to want to go to sleep.....great.
But on the plus side it is really good fun, its energetic, it gets your heart rate up, it gets you feeling slightly out of breath which is good for you and shows its working.

I still really need to sort my eating out, for breakfast this morning I had some melon...thats it. I didnt have time to "make" anything and convenience foods contain loads of sugar, fat and a long list of things that I am Intolerant or allergic to.

I found my original a4 piece of paper yesterday from the homeopathic allergy test I took 3 years ago, I'd forgotten exactly how in depth it had gone! Apparently I am allergic to Eel, I've never even tasted it! I do need to book in a new appointment to ee if any have changed now that I've spent 3 years cutting a lot of things out and refraining from nice things e.g Chocolate, Cake, Cheese, Milk, Yoghurt, Pork, Bacon, Mustard, Citrus Fruits....and so on. 

Tired.

Its been a long week and a very emotional one at that.
I feel physically and mentally drained, my head is a complete mess right now.

I feel hurt, I feel joy at seeing my family again, I feel pity for my Father, I feel sadness for the loss of an Uncle, I feel annoyed at peoples attitudes towards me, I feel depressed, I feel stressed but most of all I feel tired.
Im not sleeping properly, i'm not eating properly, i'm missing meals and not drinking enough water, i'm going back to the gym and exercising but i'm not giving my body the fuel it needs to do it.
Im sinking back down into the PND again and I hate it, I hate the fact I cant do anything about it, I feel so useless against it, it wins everytime.