Me

So here I am, a mother at the age of 25 yet I still feel 20? I missed out on a lot of my youth, I grew up a lot faster than my peers that sometimes I like to regress a little, I like to be immature and say silly words like "poo poo head" just because I can and because there is no rule against it.

This is me, take me as I am or not at all, I won't change for you, only for me.

Which is what I'm about to do, I'm just starting of my journey of change, change for the better.

I've always been "chubby" I had "puppy fat" when I was younger, then it thinned out a bit as I grew taller, then my mum died when I was 16 years of age and I turned to food for the comfort and reassurance that I didn't receive from my family or friends. I piled on the weight, I was a size 18/20 throughout my late teens, I was a size 22 by the time I'd got over my ex fiance dumping me the night before our wedding, I was a size 22 when I met my Husband and went up to a 28 when pregnant.

I'm now a size 24, I want to be a size 16, I don't want to be stick thin, it wouldn't suit me, I like my curves just not the rolls of flab that goes with them.

I've never had much self confidence, I hide behind sarcasm and humour. So called "friends" have in the past taken advantage of my lack of self esteem, they used it to their advantage, a put down in front of a crowd or a chant of "who ate all the pies" made their popularity soar and what little of acknowledgement I received disappear and never return.

I hide behind the flab, I use it as my excuse in life not to do things, and I don't want to be like that anymore. I have a beautiful daughter who deserves the best her Mummy can give her and whilst I'm puffing along trying to keep up with her toddling round the room at 50mph, I curse the weight for making me feel like less of a parent, less of a wife, less of a woman even tho there is a hell of a lot more of me than there should be.

I have a gym membership which I plan to use at least 3 times a week and the days I don't go I will go for a walk or do an exercise dvd or use the wii fit, I'm not going to be a slob.

I have a long list of food intollerances which can make "dieting" pretty hard, I can't have dairy so I have soya or dairy alternative products which have obscene amounts of sugar in them to make up for lack of taste. I've tried Slimming World, I've tried Weight Watchers, I've tried the Cabbage Soup diet and as soon as I've stopped its all gone straight back on. So that's it, no more dieting.

Just plain old simple exercise, smaller portions and eating less junk.

I'll try and keep this updated, I'm pretty useless with Blogs, I start one then forget the password or just never remember to log on.

To all those who are there and offer support, Thank You.
To those who shout "Fatty" across the street or snigger and turn up their nose when I walk into Topshop, in the words of CeLo Green's explicit version "Forget You"
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange